Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
