You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
