on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
