What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
