According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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