You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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