Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
