so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
