so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
