school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
