the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
