I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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