Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize