Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
