I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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