I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
