im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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