Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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