She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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