Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
In America we eat man semen.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
