guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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