I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
