i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize