no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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