Sry I called you an 8
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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