he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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