does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
