i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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