i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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