you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
