I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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