she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
