i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
