Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
