Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Quick, to the slutcave!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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