HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
