youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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