so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
