the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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