I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
