So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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