Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
