I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize