and next time when you feel me up, do it right
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
