just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
