she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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