I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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