You're a womanizer and a bitch.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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