I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
