insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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