You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
