yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
