his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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