the new term for farting is butt boxing.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
