Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Man, jail baloney is awful.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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